שאלה:
My mother is 86 years old. She has always been extremely abusive verbally and emotionally to me my entire life. She does not care to embarrass me at my own simchas or harrass me for any reason that she dreams of. She is constantly critical of who I am and lets me have it, at her whim. I have raised children that only give her much honor and love. My husband shows her much kavod in every way. I avoid confrontation. when she has her outbursts, where she screams and goes wild at me, I move on. I jump when she says she needs something, I supply her with a full freezer of home cooked meals, I take her to medical visits etc,. She takes care of her own expenses and lives well. I honestly, can't do all of this with the expression of love, so she feels that and resents that. I am very giving of my time and patience, and do try to take care of all her needs in a pleasant manner. my cousin and husband, who know her very well are telling me to write her a letter
finally telling her that her behavior and outbursts are unacceptable towards me etc. the letter will hurt her because I will spell out what she has been up to with me in even just this past year, , I don't have to go far in the past. every other week it is another attack towards me. What am I supposed to do as a gd fearing Jew
תשובה:
שלום וברכה
קראתי בצער את שאלתך.
אני חושב שאכן מישהו צריך לדבר איתה בצורה רצינית על הנושא.
אינני חושב שמכתב יעזור כאן, אלא אם יש מישהו שהיא מכבדת, שיכול להכנס ולדבר בלי להכנס לויכוחים וצעקות שזה רק יקלקל, אלא פשוט לשוחח בצורה ענינית על הנושא עם דוגמאות, להסביר את הקושי ואת הצורך שלה לעשות שינוי, זה יכול להועיל.
התפעלתי מאוד מהכיבוד אם המיוחד שלכם!
תזכו למצוות. ולזכור תמיד… שעם כל הצעקות, היא עדיין בגיל הזה מאוד תלויה בכם ומסכנה…
