Question:
This is a confusing question, and I hope I explain it alright. My mother was Jewish, and my father was Catholic. My father passed away in 1999. My mother just passed away at 85 years old. I was brought up Roman Catholic, but we attended both Church and Synagogue with both sides of the family every week. I was Confirmed a Catholic when I was 13. My mother’s cousin, who is 90, knows I was brought up Catholic, but he bought me a very expensive Tallis, all kinds of extras, including a lining, sides and middle linings, and Tosafot Tekhelet tied GR”A. I was brought up Catholic, but I know what all of it is, and the cost he spent on it. He didn’t tell me, but I know that the GR”A stands for the Vilna Gaon. My Eltre-Eltre-Zaide was named after him and a relative who had just passed away. His Hebrew name was Eliyahu Dov. The family came from Vilna, Russia (not Lithuania at the time). I would be proud to wear it when I go to Synagogue with my cousins, but I was wondering if it was proper? Since I was little, I have always worn a Kippah. My Zaide bought me some when I was little, and as I got older, and he was gone, I bought others that were for an adult. When I made my Catholic Confirmation, we were required to make a stole to wear when the Bishop Confirmed us, and mine had Hebrew Symbols on it. The Bishop called attention to it during his homily, noting to all us children that my stole had all the same Hebrew symbols found all over the Catholic churches. Again, I would be the proudest person in the world, if you said I could wear it, but something in my mind tells me you will probably say no. My added question…why would he have spent so much money on giving this to me, if he knew I couldn’t wear it? I don’t want to ask him, but I don’t want to hurt him. Also, I would like to wear it, to show him I do love it. Even if you tell me it would be wrong to wearing, I want to be buried with it. Call me sentimental. I am proud of my Jewish Heritage. One other thing. Even though I can only tell you what the family members’ names are on their grave stones in Hebrew, I can’t really read Hebrew. I can point out the three letters that spell Sarah, my Eltre-Bubbe and Eltre-Eltre Bubbe who have the same name. I can point out daughter of and son of. I can point out Yehudah, my Eltre-Zaide. I can’t read dates in Hebrew. I can tell you my Eltre-Zaide has ha Kohen on his stone as well as the hands. The same with my Eltre-Eltre-Zaide, and my other Eltre-Eltre-Zaide says ha Rav. My Zaide’s unmarried sister was a Bat Kohen. I know she was a holy woman and followed all the rules, better than her brothers. Coming from that Heritage, I want to do the right thing. I also don’t want to hurt my every elderly cousin. He is 5 years older than my mother was in May.
Answer:
Thank you for clarification. Regarding your question about the tallis it is the correct thing to do, and wear the tallis, but only if the tallis is indeed kosher. If the tzitzis were tied by a Jew that believes in God, the tallis should be alright, and you can wear it. (It should however not be carried to the temple on Shabbat). It would be best for you to show the tzitzis to an orthodox Rabbi, if there is one in your area, to look at.
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