Question:
B”H Thank you so much for your help. My question deals with if it is needed to do teshuva for a mistake that was made when I was around 10 years old. Briefly: I went to public elementary school and the boys and girls were in the same class. A boy decided to “be funny” and lift up my skirt as I was getting up from a seated position. I was obviously upset and embarrassed, and reacted by saying “you’re a loser” to the boy who did it, and maybe one or two other boys nearby probably heard me say it. Decades later, I regret saying that, but I was a child and I did not (yet) know how to behave or conduct myself (B”H I have since become observant). I was looking up this person online to reach out and apologize, and he has an arrest record for drugs and has made atheist and gun comments on social media. I do not want to contact him at all. Is it ok for me to not contact him to apologize if the matter could be considered a safety issue? (I am concerned with the idea of if you embarrass someone and don’t apologize, you could lose Olam Haba? But would a under 12/ 13 year old be liable to this?)
Thank you in advance for your help, it is always so very sincerely appreciated.
Answer:
You have no need to worry about this. You didn’t do anything wrong by fighting back at the time that he was hurting you. Yes it is commendable if you can keep quiet, but you definitely don’t have to ask him forgiveness. He has to ask you. Besides for the fact that you were under bas mitzva, so you are not accountable for it. Breath easy, your fine.
Best wishes
