Question:
Shalom,
I am a Baal Teshuva and am new to the concept of mechilla, and was wondering if it would apply in this matter:
I had an experience with an online store seller last year, where I purchased a used copper bowl, the picture and the condition were described as great.
When I received the bowl, it hardly resembled the photograph. It was badly dented, where my hands could not fix the metal to bend the dent the other way, I would need to get some sort of hammer to fix it that wouldn’t also cause a permanent mark in the copper since it was a smooth finished (ie not hammered copper)
The item was covered in orange ‘stuff’ that kept staining everything it touched.
I sent the seller a harsh complaint, I accused the seller of selling me copper that wasn’t real (it also wasn’t stamped anywhere by any maker). But, afterwards I found out through research that some untreated works of copper could get this orange if they were badly corroded, usually by using the wrong kind of cleaner on them.
I then sent the seller an apology for my accusation. And I explained why I badly reacted….
I continued to explain that I am very sorry about what I said, but unfortunately the item is still not as its described condition.
I’ve had to follow numerous online tutorials and spent hours upon hours scrubbing it with vinegar in an attempt to clean and it didn’t work. It shined up one part of the copper while the rest was still corroded.
The item is horribly corroded. Apparently I have to purchase a specific copper cleaner to attempt to clean it with, and it might work, and it might not, it might leave parts of the metal in that discolour because sometimes corrosions can stain.
I would have to take out an additional $30 dollars just to purchase this cleaner, and spend even more hours than I already had spent scrubbing it.
Through research I found that the seller likely used a polish that wasn’t meant at all for copper, and that is the reason that, with weather changes, it turned this way while in transit.
The seller claims that none of this is her fault, that the item was in perfect condition when she shipped it.
This seller sells used products she finds in flea markets on a website that manages many sellers there. After I apologized to the seller for my false accusation of sending me fake copper, I explained to her that I would still like a compensation for my item because I’m having to scrub this item for hours on end and it’s still not better, and I am stuck with the large dent in it that I can’t fix, I can’t get the dent straightened.
She says that her store policy is no compensations or returns, and that the dent is the problem of the shipping company and I should take it up with them.
She then said if you I’ll buy from her shop again, she’s willing to give me 10 percent off the next item. But I explained that I’m not shopping again, (I wasn’t happy with my service so far she wasn’t very responsive) I just want my current issue to be resolved.
She packed the item in a very thin and light box, I’m actually not surprised it got dented. Looking at the box when it arrived it was so incredibly thin that we didn’t even think this was my package. As it was a very very large bowl.
After a few messages of me explaining this the seller stopped responding. So I sent a letter to the general store website that she sells on, and asked if they could please help me because this seller is not resolving my issue.
Their customer service department tried reaching the seller, and the seller told them I was accusing (even though I did sincerely apologize to her for what I said) and then she proceeded to accuse me of taking a picture of an item that is not even hers in order to take money from her!
I told the website that I wouldn’t be dealing with this item for what was almost 2 months at this point, if the product wasn’t damaged. I’m not interested in taking money from her, I just want a compensation for my item.
The store website told me that they could not come to a resolve with this seller. And so they offered me from their own account the sum of money that I paid for the product in full.
I’m thankful that I got my money back, but I’m concerned about the seller. I don’t have any way to reach her privately, since she has a public online store front, and even after I apologized to her she didn’t want to respond in kind to resolving this matter. I didn’t ask her for a full refund, I just asked for a compensation since the item arrived damaged.
According to what she told me, since she cleaned it, and since her store says on the main page no refunds, and since the dent according to her happened in shipment, I should have purchased a cleaner, and kept scrubbing my item and trying to find a way to straighten the large dent without getting any compensation.
I understand that according to her thinking, she used a good polish and a good box. But in fact she didn’t. The polish she thought was good actually caused corrosion in the metal, and the box she chose and thought was good was actually too thin for this item and a massive, currently irreparable dent, was formed.
I understand she did her best, but she did it wrong and I did pay her in full for the item. It wasn’t received as described.
I don’t believe that I need to stand and scrub and clean an item that is supposed to arrive as shown in the photo. I’ve purchased used copper online before and it’s never looked like that.
The website customer service said they actually decided to give me the refund for two reasons; the first they said, is because they could not come to any resolve with the seller.
The second, is because of the very very large dent in this item.
My family tells me that I did the right thing by complaining and I should not have sat silent. I only asked for some money reduction off the item. I asked because it arrived corroded, all the labour I have to do in order to get the item to, hopefully, look again like the photo. And now I have to spend money to purchase a cleaner for it.
Do I need to be concerned about the fact that she was very mad at me last year and ask for mechilla? She was very very mad at the customer service department also… I don’t even know how I would do it, as there is no way to reach her privately and I don’t want random passerby to know of this between us. I don’t know what I would say to her as well…
But do you think halachically this is a situation where I need to?
I don’t want to have people mad at me and I don’t want to upset business owners….part of me feels like I just should have sat quiet with my item, paid extra for cleaners and continued to spend hours scrubbing it without saying a word….
Answer:
From what you are describing, there is no need for you to do more than what you have already done. Aside from the fact that you might actually be right, and the seller night have been negligent for shipping it in a way that it could get damaged, and you might be entitled to compensation, you did apologize to her. Therefore in this situation you don’t have to make sure to get her mechilla.
Best wishes
