לתרומות לחץ כאן

נדרים

שאלה:

Hi Rabbi. I had a question in regard to vows and promises. I read a previous asked question about a girl who promised not to dye her hair and i think the rabbi mentioned she should get the promise annulled depending the wording. After reading that I am concerned about my problem.
Maybe you can help.
I had made these 2 promises to g-d (I think). I can’t remember the wording used, or if one of them was said out loud or in my head, therefore I cannot even say they are real promises, but i definitely said something. But I am very very bothered and concerned that they are.

The first “promise” had to do with that I wouldn’t be with a guy younger than me. The second was specifically not to be with a certain male.
Now my problem is, I would really like to explore a relationship with this person but I feel like I wouldn’t be putting g-d first and honestly I feel like its the end of the world.
I know there is a way to annul promises, but I did go out with this person a few times and therefore feel like the promise to g-d is already broken which makes this even worse.
This all makes me feel very guilty and like a bad person and I really don’t know what to do.

I had asked a few other rabbis this question already who told me that an annulment was unnecessary. I should mention I do have bad OCD and perhaps this is why I keep seeking reassurance. I just don’t understand how it would be okay for me to still explore a relationship with this guy.

As if this is not already bad enough, in order to try to fix the situation I made another impulsive “promise” (which again I cannot remember the exact words) that went along the lines of “if you erase the promise ill try to dress more tzniout”. I have come to realize that this is not something I feel ready for and don’t think I can carry out that promise (at least for now). But I have still been trying to dress tzniout for the simple reason of not wanting to lie to g-d.

I’m sorry for the long and complex message. Thank you for taking the time to read it and if you cannot answer I understand!

תשובה:

שלום וברכה

ככל ששומרים את כללי ההלכה בקשר הזה, ובנוגע ללבוש, ניתן לערוך התרת נדרים בבית הכנסת בפני שלושה רבנים, יש לגשת לרב בית הכנסת המקומי שיסייע בענין, ולפחות אחד מאותם שלושה ידע גם מה היו הנדרים האלו. אבל אם הכוונה לקיים קשר זוגי ממש של יחסי אישות חלילה עם בן זוג ללא נישואין, זה כבר איסור גמור, ונדר כזה לא ניתן להתיר.

בהצלחה רבה

השאר תגובה

האימייל לא יוצג באתר.

שאלות שנצפות עכשיו:

מאמרים אחרונים

מדריכים הלכתיים

הכנו עבורכם
דבר תורה לשבת!

מחפשים כל שבוע איזה דבר תורה להגיד בשבת?

מעכשיו תקבלו כל שבוע דבר תורה ואת כל השאלות הכי מעניינות אליכם למייל